I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
