Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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