dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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