i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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