I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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