I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
