You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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