I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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