just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Don't make out with my wife yet
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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