At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
being pregnant is like rehab
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
