Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
