if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you mean i was at the winter classic?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize