I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
