That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
