i don't like sucking hair
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize