Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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