you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
