Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
