She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
