you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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