so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
