Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
