it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
