Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
