this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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