New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
