problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
