I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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