They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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