You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
