wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
