Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize