After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
