I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
