So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
