I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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