it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Houston, we have a squirter
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
