The best revenge is premature balding
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
this will be a night to untag.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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