next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
