Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
