the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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