This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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