Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
