sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
