the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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