When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize