Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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