Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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