Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do you still have your period?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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