I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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