He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
