My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
