so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
