Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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