I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
