K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
