last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize