The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
