Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
